A single woman wonders about moving to Mexico

One of my readers sent me these comments recently:

Nice to hear about the women's expat group you went to. If I move down there (I'm single and can't afford to buy, but would have a small pension), I would be sort of a Midlife Maverick type, and would love to meet others who are similar. I realize you are married. What do think about single women relocating there? I've heard it's not a good place to meet men, but, what do the locals think? Can single women blend in there? So far, it sounds good, based on what I've read online, but I'm always looking for more insights from others.

My real question on that issue is how does a single woman (especially w/o children) fit into a culture that is so very family oriented, where singleness is rare, even with men (I guess). Being single in the states is part of the rugged individualism ethic, especially nowdays, when women can have careers and lives of their own. Maybe their family or marriage was dysfunctional and being single is really the better option. I get the picture that there are a number of single women in the expat communities. How well do they fit in to the Mexican culture overall? Are they considered pathetic or freaky? Just wondering.

I would love it if any single American or Canadian women who have been here would post comments. Here's my take: I think that the Mexicans find us gringas different in so many ways that they don't expect the same things of us that they do of women in their own culture. They won't necessarily know that you don't have kids, since you are not of child-rearing age. Nor will they necessarily know you are single. (Mexicans are not always shy about asking personal questions, though!)

In a nutshell, I don't think you or any of us do fit into the culture, to use your phrase. Not in the sense that a Mexican would. We can have good friends, we can be very welcome here, but our role in life here is always going to have some outsider flavor to it. Perhaps this isn't true of someone who has lived here for decades and speaks the language well; I don't know.

In some parts of Mexico, a single foreign woman might have to put up with a lot of 'friendly' interest from Mexican men, but I think that it's better around here. At that expat group I went to, it seemed to me that a fourth to a third of the women were single. I'm sure you'd have no trouble meeting other single expat women.

Regarding not being able to buy a house, I've mentioned before that in Mexico the costs of rentals are low in proportion to what you get, compared to the US. So renting is often a good idea.