This is the second of two guest articles on being a gay expat, written by my friend Alison Soloman whose new website is on cheap travel — a topic she is also an expert on. — Rosana

Three years ago, my partner and I moved to Lake Chapala, Mexico.  Wherever we live, it’s always important to us that there’s a gay community to plug into.  People sometimes ask us if that’s reverse discrimination – we think emphatically that it’s not.  It’s no different from wanting to be part of a Jewish community or a Universal Unitarian community, or to want to make sure there’s a writer’s group or a quilting group.  We don’t spend all our time with only one group, but there are times when we want to be with folks just like us.

We’d heard about Lake Chapala and Ajijic through straight friends of ours who moved down here a year earlier.  When we decided we would join them, we went online to find out about the queer community here.  We found lots of straight people who assured us that there was a sizeable gay community and that gays were welcomed and fully integrated.  It wasn’t until we moved down here that we met our first lesbians.  We were walking through an art exhibit in the Ajijic plaza when Carol suddenly spotted two women selling jewelry.  “D.A to the left!” she whispered loudly (that’s “dyke alert” to the uninitiated.)  We strolled over to them, “Hi,” we said.  All four of us smiled that knowing smile and the next day found us happily drinking coffee and getting to know our new-found friends better.

As the weeks and months progressed, we quickly found ourselves meeting lots of other gays and lesbians.  Many were, like us, part of a longtime couple.  A few were single, and some were in new relationships that have since bit the dust.  As we got to know folks better, we discovered that being gay wasn’t the only thing we needed to have in common, and some of our newly-formed friendships didn’t last.  There were those who drank too much; those who were too ostentatious for our likes; some whose only focus seemed to be constantly renovating their upscale homes, and some who were just plain weird.  But as time passed, we found a core group of friends with whom we enjoyed hanging out and sharing holidays.

One of the disadvantages of living in this area is that there are a large number of “snow-birds” – folks who are only here during the winter months.  We know one couple who have set up their lives so that for half the year they live in Michigan and for six months they live rent-free in Mexico by housesitting for repeat customers.  Another pair of lesbians are Canadians who rent a home here so one of them can manage her arthritis in the worst months.  We love getting together with them, but dread the approach of summer, when they will abandon us once again.

There’s no organized group here – from time to time we talk about setting up an email group, or a list-serve, but we never get around to it.  There is however, a group that meets every Friday at the Ajijic Plaza in the Jardin restaurant.  So if you’re in the neighborhood, stop by!  Just be prepared for the fact that you might not want to leave.